Granny Lost The Plot

I am the bearer of bad news.

Would you believe it if I told you that everything on your bathroom shelves is causing cancer and low sperm count?

The amount we expose ourselves to is greater than the level considered safe, or so I’ve just read.

It’s down to Parabens, the dirty little bastards. Parabens contain oestrogen so that explains why men are starting to sprout boobs.

Take a goozer at your deodorants, your shampoo and conditioners. In very small writing you will find methylpropyl and/or butylparaben. Parabens, in other words.

I have spent the last half hour in the bathroom whilst giving myself a skin peel treatment, so I swear on my mother’s grave that I found the devils in everything we use.

The scrub I used is from the Body Shop. It smells of spearmint and I feel great now. Not an ounce of dead skin on my person. K8 left it behind here after her house-sitting visit. Now I know for sure she’s trying to bump us off - death by body exfoliate! No one would ever know!

It’s all in the bin now and I’m off to search the web for eco-friendly stuff. I was under the illusion that Body Shop stuff is all good and pure. It isn’t.

If the kids give you Body stuff at Christmas; beware!!

They are after your Prize Bonds.