Nil by mouth - the safer option.
Aug 9th, 2007 by Granny
I sat chomping Grandad’s nuts [and raisins]. A healthier option to dunking the old ginger nut in tea, or so we’re told.
I bit off more than I could chew.
Feeling something rock solid in my mouth amongst the raisins I put in my thumb and pulled out…. half a tooth attached to a filling.
I have four phobias - spiders, Twink, childbirth and dentists. And the greatest of these is the dreaded dentist.
I came back from the surgery €480 lighter in the pocket. Root canal - ouch! Three anasthetics - oucher!!
He is not finished. Next week I go back for a crown. Six more fillings and I’m done.
That’s the end of the holiday in France next year. We have no dental insurance and we’re just two old pensioners trying to hold onto our molars.
We stopped in the village on the way back home, just for coffee and antibiotics (there is an infection too). I lit a cigarette. My mouth being well numbed, I couldn’t even take a drag. I stuck two in my nose and two more in my ears.
The tourists were staring at our table.
I noticed a suspicious looking bulge in Grandad’s trousers.
The gun!
Let’s get him outa here, while the goin’ is good…
Pure madness!
Thanks for the sympathy.
I’ll give it ten years before your dentures are going clicketty click.
Granny,
I hate going to the dentist, too.
Last time I was there I said to him,”I would rather have a baby than get a tooth filled.”
He replied’” Make up your mind, Madam so I can adjust my chair.”
Deja vous! I broke my tooth on a VitaWheat and vegemite biscuit! My sympathies! I start root canal on Monday 13th (a portend there perhaps). He swears the nerve is dead and it won’t hurt but I’ve booked my anaesthetic just in case. Three weeks later and I should have an ‘American’ smile. Bastards just charge so much to make us miserable! And I have dental cover but it’s nowhere near enough for complex work.
Nancy: I would made babies with him. Then, once he’s in the family, you are guaranteed a perfect smile forever.
Baino: The best of Irish luck to you. After the injection, it’s really a piece of cake.
I was eating a fruit and nut flapjack from the health shop. That’s me finished with health shops and health sites on alternative medicine! With the money I save, I will pay for the crown I have to have done next week, and the six extra fillings.
It will be all over before you know it.
Vanity, vanity girls!
All this suffering makes a smile in a glass seem appealing.
Grannymar. My elder sister keeps nagging me to have my teeth done. She has a full set of dentures and they are the bane of her life.
She takes them out in the afternoon for an hour and soaks them in Milton. Her little granddaughter regularly takes the glass (and teeth) into the TV room to watch Sesame Street.
She likes the company.
We are a weird family.
Granny:
I hate dentists too, being the victim of The Tooth Crusher of Cork, the family dentist, who was pushing 90 when I was a girl. I still have nightmares.
My dentist here in Canada says he always knows an ‘Irish Mouth’ tho I think that’s all changing now.
One of the best methods of dealing with a dentist I’ve ever heard is that you take a hold of his nuts (an area you seem overly familiar with on other bodies, tut-tut Granny!) and say very clearly at the outset:
**Now we’re not going to hurt each other, are we?**
I like that one!
The trouble is, he might too…
[...] went to the dentist during the week. She got a prescription for antibiotics which violently disagreed with her. So we [...]
[...] forgot to sign up or some such - probably because of all the pills he takes - and so when Grannymar broke a tooth last week, it came out of their own [...]
I think my situation is even worse. I am a dentist, my mom is a dentist and I am terrified when I sit on dental chair. What can I do….
Why not get the holiday in France, or better yet Turkey or Poland, and get your teeth fixed over there? It’d be much cheaper than here - you’d probably save enough to pay for the holiday itself!