Granny Lost The Plot

I’ve been tagged by Our K8 again. I must comply otherwise she may cut off access to the grandchildren.

I am to write eight things about myself.

1.

From the age of four my ambition was to join a circus. I loved clowns! After the performance I would hang around the tent for hours. Nobody at home missed me. Being the youngest of eight me Ma wouldn’t have noticed my absence. Anyway I hung from the high up benches and swung from arm to arm like a mad monkey. Nobody noticed. I did the splits with ease as, unlike the elder sisters, me Da could afford to send me to ballet. Still, they were unimpressed.

2.

My ambition changed at the age of 11ish. We got the telly and I was determined to be in on the act. “I Love Lucy” was the favourite and “Wanderly Wagon”. Well, I succeeded on the second ambition and joined RTE. It was amazingly like working in a circus. Lots of clowns and music and non-stop parties getting gave.

3.

At twenty, I wanted more than anything to write a book - a reeel good book. Apart from getting a piece published in the Woman’s Own, and winning a short story competition on radio, the book never saw daylight. At least I tried.

4.

I’m neurotic. I jump on the bandwaggon of every alternatve in the health shop in search of the elixir of eternal youth. My latest is a pot of Manuka Honey. At €13 for a small pot, it has to be good.

5.

Soon I’ll be sixty, but in my head I’m a vulnerable sixteen.

6.

I come from a weird family. I have a brother who was a priest in the Missions. He married an Italian divorcee with a kid. Me Mam cracked up with the shame.

7.

I couldn’t live without a dog in the house, but I draw the line at Boxers and Alsations. Once in France I got bitten in the bum by an Alsation. I’ve been howling at the moon and biting the postman ever since. I have a fear of water but not of beer.

8.

I would like to have been born into an ordinary family but I think it might have been boring. Apart from one boring sister who was a school teacher with a bun, the rest of us were a little crazy. In a nice way though.

I have a lovely family of my own now. Himself is stable and reliable but the Offspring and her Offspring are a little weird. The Granddaughter thinks she’s a dog and the Daughter has set up home with TAT. I hope he is a figment of her imagination but how would that explain the Grandkids? Maybe she’s androgynous?