Show me the Money
Mar 15th, 2007 by Granny
He is nagging again.
If it’s such a pain in the arse for him to have to drive me to a medical appointment or for a bit of shopping, why did he make me leave town to follow his dream seven years ago?
I’m feeling a bit low. But a lovely man on the radio from SHIT SHIP told me he would pay a fortune for half the equity in my cottage. [Is that anything to do with Actors Equity?] I can even stay on here after till I pop my clogs.
The cottage and lands here in this part of the country are hot property. He reckons it is worth two and a half million. I have a get out clause now with my half of the equity [whatever that is].
I could go off cruising with Grannymar, my new best friend.
There are people I would miss though. Not Himself, but people like Chris and his nice lovely daughter who is Miss World. He wrote a song about me, about my red frock. Such a nice man.
I would miss Cathy Kelly too, although she called to the door last night in a strop - was I taking the piss when I wrote about Chic-Lit?
“Not at all Cathy” I said. “You write beautiful books with big worms words.
I have a permanent grin. It’s just the way my face is arranged. I can’t help it.
She took up a rock and threw it at me. It missed by inches, but caught Grandad right in the pipe. It’s in bits, and he has been crying all morning, ‘cus he misses his smoke. First his mug, and now his pipe.
It’s Karma. It really is.
P.S. I’m sending you a photo of me and my three best friends. That’s me on the left. I’m teaching them hand signals. We are learning to drive. We only have the old Massey Ferguson tractor for practice.
If you are up in our neck of the woods, be careful. Be very careful.
Famous Five, Huh!
Sure I am famous already!
Today I was standing in for the Lord Mayor of Belfast!
Pity Grandad has no pipe to put that in!!!
Good one!
It’s neat that you are barred from Grandad’s blog today. It’s turned into a lovely mens club with NO WOMEN ALLOWED!!!
PS - My wife knows the real lady in red and my daughter knows the young wan with the crown (they also did ballet together as kids before long before she became a swan!)
The old Massey 135 …
*sniff* Holds a lot of memories for me …
John.. I did a bit of ballet myself. I used to trip around the house on my toes and do the odd arabesque for the visitors. My toes are all pointy since, and the arthritis is terrible.
Dario.. You can’t bate the old tractor.
Grannymar.. Don’t be shaking hands with people when you are standing in for the mayor. You might catch something. I’m impressed and a little jealous. I can hardly stand myself.
Oh dear. I have just realised that I have written this while using Grandad’s pc. It put his name on the top, but I changed it.
Oy!! Leave my PC alone….
“I can hardly stand myself.”
Don’t worry. I can hardly stand you either.
HAPPY MAMMY’S DAY, MAMMY!!!!
Thanks for binning that pack of Johnnies 28 years ago
me
xxx
Thank you Petal,
As you know, I’m a good little catholic girl. I use the rhythm method. It was difficult getting the Leitrim Ceidhli Band so that is why there is only one of you.
Happy Mother’s Day yourself.
Hello! I’ll bet you’re surprised to hear from an American senior. I was happy to find your blog and Grandad’s. Between the two, I’ve absorbed more Irish humor that I did in my recent trip to your country. I loved Ireland, by the way.
I enjoyed the picture here, but with your sense of humor, I have no idea whether the lady on the left is you or not. Anyway, keep blogging! My blog is quite serious, but check it out some day. I really do have a sense of humor!