You must go back to Arnotts and purchase CORDOROY pajamas. They give you quite a bit of traction on the satin sheets.The only trouble is they are very noisy. swish,swish,swish…………

The black boot polish is no longer a problem, but we keep sliding out of bed.

It’s great gas entirely!

Where does nancy get these stories?

Next she will have a Blog of her own!

How are the pillowcases doing? Are they out on the hedges yet?

Why does everything you say remind me of something? The thought of your toilet (Or lack of ) makes me think of the chap who walked into a bar in TEXAS (WHERE EVERYTHING IS THE BIGGEST). It was truly the biggest bar he had ever seen. HUGE. One hundred stools at this massive bar. He ordered a beer and it was served in a gigantic mug that held 10 pints. He drank the beer and had to use the toilet. They told him it was the first door on the left. Being tipsy from all that beer he opened the door on the right and fell into the swimming pool, where he was found floundering and shouting “,DON’T FLUSH! DON’T FLUSH”.

Would it be OK to put Grandad in for a soak too?

I have heard that this works too for giving a shine to the toilet. If we had a toilet.

Pay no attention to Grannymar on this one! I have the answer to your black stain problem.

Fill a basin with warm water and add the stained linens and a DENTURE CLEANING TABLET. Now the beauty of this treatment is you can throw your teeth in at the same time and get double benefit from the tablet. However: This is important now, you must leave the linens in the solution for 30 to 60 minutes, SO, if you have your teeth in there,too, you must do this at a time when you are not hungry and have absolutely nothing to say. In one hour both your linens and your teeth will be ready for prime time.

Let me know how this works out for you.

I might keep my remedies to myself.
*note to self* - bring rubber gloves - **

These folk sound toffee nosed and probably won’t have rubber gloves.

Ahem!

I found the remedy in a book called ‘The Queen of Clean’. The lady on the front looks a bit like our friend Nancy! Maybe it is her or her twin. We will call her ‘our friend’ even though she was Grandad’s friend first.

Granny you will have to find carpet cleaner in a spray can (they do have some funny things in America) Now spray like hell on the stain and let it soak for 60 seconds and then launder as usual.

You could always test it on Grandad’s hair first. Will he fit in the washing Machine?

See you for dinner, I’m starving!

PS. You can certainly come back with me but bring 2 pairs of those ‘Terminals’ it can get very cold way up here in the North.